If you want to push people away, shut them down, and make them dig their heels in …
- criticize them, not just their viewpoint or behavior
- get angry or impatient
- use sarcasm
- don’t play fair
- use deception
If you want to draw people in, open them up, and maybe even persuade them of your way of thinking …
- make an evidence-based argument for your viewpoint
- don’t make it personal
- be kind
- tell the truth
- show them that, even though you might not care for their viewpoint, you care about them
I like to summarize the second list by saying, Be winsome. The more appealing your attitude and treatment of others are, the more appealing your viewpoint can be. It’s like magic!
I don’t think I’m telling you anything you don’t already know, but we all need this reminder. Sadly, it seems that more and more people don’t live this way. Choosing winsomeness can set us apart from the madding crowd and garner great results. It’s part of living thoughtfully. As Tennyson might say, Arise, go forth and be winsome!